This may sound very odd coming from a big girl, but one of my greatest pet peeves, are guys who are only into big girls. I've felt this way for as long as I have been aware of the 'fat fetish', and since I first came across chubby chasing guys first hand.
Don't get me wrong. I respect everyone's tastes. I understand that you cannot help who or what you find sexually attractive. Whether it be a certain size, a certain race, or whatever it is that turns you on. I also want to emphasize that I am not out to bash big women who love and appreciate chubby chasers. Look, I get it. I get that it's nice to have someone who loves and wants you just as you are, and who isn't going to go on at you to loose weight. I also understand that not every woman who feels that way about chubby chasers, is necessarily the type of woman I (or they - meaning chubby chasing men), go on to describe here. I am also not saying that this is what I think of all big women, who love the men who love us. I'm talking about what some those men have to say about why they prefer big women. I also like to think that there are chubby chasing guys out there who do not prefer bigger women for the reasons I am about to discuss here. Once again, I know there are always exceptions. I am not here to judge anyone, as with everything, there are exceptions to every rule and stereotype. I am however, going to express my own personal opinion about the assumptions that are made about us, by a lot of those guys who claim to love us.
The video below, which I stumbled across this morning, has been what triggered me to write this post. For ages now I have been intending to make a video on this topic, and I probably still will, but for now, I'm going to start off with this post! The video which triggered me to write this post ahead of time, lasts 4:53s. It's from the channel Bugatti Beeze, and features another youtuber, who's name I think is Jae Richards. To be honest though, I wasn't really paying attention to their names, but rather, what they were saying. (So please excuse me if I'm wrong).
These two proud-fat-girl-loving guys in particular, have made a video simply regurgitating every possible fat girl stereotype around. I've heard many chubby chasers talk like this about us big girls. It's as if we are all just clones of each other.
No, we are not.
I don't know you about you, but me?
Yes, I am fat, but no I am not easy. Not by any stretch of the imagination. You can't just walk up to me in some random place - ie; the mall - and expect me to give you my number. It's just not going to happen! Oh, and in case you didn't know, there are plenty of skinny girls out there who will. Generally speaking though, I don't care what type of girl you are trying to hit on at the mall, 99.99999999999% of the time, I'm gonna class you as 'thirsty' for hitting on girls at the mall anyway. Maybe I'm just very english, and the whole talking to strangers in an over friendly manner is just taboo; but seriously, who goes to the mall hoping to get a date? Exactly! And as for my breasts, in case you didn't know, no, they do not exist to be randomly squeezed. I own my body, and I decide what happens to it, and who gets to touch it, because me and my body are not public property, and both myself and my body are worthy of being treated with respect. Besides, who says all big girls are busty? They're not! The fat on my body is not the result of years of "McMeals" or any other junk food from any other fast food place. I do not wrestle, and I am not anyone's punching bag, so no, you cannot just wrestle or punch this fat girl and assume she can, and will, just take it - Whatever the circumstances. I am not anyone's body guard - especially not my man's bodyguard. Call me old fashioned if you must, but I want my man to protect me! This doesn't mean I won't stand up for him if the situation arose, but I'm not going to settle for some guy who will date me because he thinks I can fight. And on that note, are they saying that by assuming that all fat girls have sharp fighting skills and abnormally large and strong fists, that there is no such thing as a classy fat lady who does not need to resort to physical fights to resolve conflict? I have big hands, and they're going to be big no matter what I weigh, because I'm made big anyway. Fact is, I could probably do some damage with my big hands if I chose to, but I don't. I'm not one to get into physical fights, or to go around knocking people out. It's called having class, and it has nothing to do with body size or shape. God gave me a brain to think, and a mouth to reason with. If you need to settle your conflicts with your fists and not your words, then something is wrong with you, and I suggest you seek help, or go to anger management or something. For real! Oh, and all that stuff in the begining of the video about how we will eat all of our food at the restaurant on a date? Please! I know many skinny girls who eat more than many of the fat girls I know. They just don't put the weight on like us bigger girls do! And as for inviting your friends over to smoke from her knee caps? Did I hear wrong? Was that a joke I didn't find funny or was that 'code' for 'sharing' her with his friends? I'm not even going to bother trying to figure it out because it just seems like a waste of my time. Again, not all fat girls are easy, promiscuous, or incapable of saying no to anything she finds degrading or simply uncomfortable. And where is the logic in you not having to worry about a big girl cheating on you because all big girls spend their money on, is food? Is he saying, that nobody else wants the kind of woman he's into because we are all just ugly and undesireable? So are they saying that men who like big women are just insecure deep down, and want a woman who nobody else wants, to make sure she will be his unconditionally, indebted to him for finding her attractive, and OK to be treated like garbage?
Look, a woman doesn't have to be fat to be insecure and to allow men - or just people in general - to treat her like rubbish.
There are plenty of insecure women out there who are skinny. Insecure women come in all shapes and sizes, just like with everything else. Come on now! Is it just me, or have these chubby chasing guys, who justify their preference in the same way these guys do, just led some very sheltered lives?
We are not all just walking stereotypes. Everybody's body is different, and each person is the size they are for different reasons. I'm not saying that there's no such thing as a fat person who is fat because they eat too much junk food and don't excercise. Of course there are those kinds of fat people out there! But there are also skinny people out there who live unhealthy lifestyles, but nobody calls them out on it, because there is this mass distributed lie, that if you are skinny, then you must be healthy.
These guys talk about skinny girls in reference to all the negative stereotypes. They talk about skinny girls not eating enough, not being strong enough, being conceited and downright rude. Again, I ask myself if these guys have simply led very sheltered lives. I know plenty of lovely skinny girls who will not be rude if you try to chat them up, and can hold their own if the need arose, and who are not conceited. Like I said, all types of girls come in all shapes and sizes. If you are turned on by one size, and not another, then good for you. I won't be giving you a medal for liking what you like, because honestly, I don't believe any of us choose to be attracted to whatever or whoever we are attracted to. It's mixture of genetics and socialization that will ultimately shape our tastes. Not only in partner, but in everything. The food we like, the clothes we choose to wear, our general lifestyle choices, etc. We are a product of nature and nurture. Who knows the full list of reasons that make these guys only find big girls attractive. I don't know the answer, and I don't really want to pass judgement. I just know that I don't agree with their argument.
All I know for a fact is, that to me, arguments like these are a load of nonsense, and I do not relate to any of these stereotypes. I am a fat woman, but I am a woman non-the-less. I am not worth more or less than any other woman, regardless of my size, race, social class, etc, I am simply human. I have flaws and virtues just like the next person. I do want to be fetishized because I am not a fetish.
Fetishizing women based on their weight, isn't a fat woman issue. It's also a skinny woman issue.
Guys who claim to only be attracted to thin women, and who will only date that type of woman, are just as guilty of fetishizing one particular size of woman, as these chubby chasers do. The difference is, that society tells us it's OK to fetishize and objectify skinny women, but it's not OK to find bigger women attractive, which is why exclusively finding bigger women attractive, is considered a fetish in the traditional sense of the word. If the reality were the reverse, the problem would be the same, and not better or worse.
Maybe I am alone in my zero tolerance for crap and my sense of equality for all. I don't know. All I know is, that I despise sizeism, and stereotyping us, whether it be intended as a compliment, or not, is not on either!
Am I alone in my thoughts and feelings on this matter?